Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Blonde Wins Lottery
A blonde buys a ticket and wins the lottery. She goes to lottery headquarters to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
The blonde says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sorry lady. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
The blonde said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explained that she would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The blonde, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
At The Gates of Heaven
One day, up in heaven, Jesus was filling in for St. Peter at the golden gates. Eternity was passing slowly and Jesus had only sent through four million people. After a while a man with a beard comes up to Jesus.
"Name?" Asked Jesus.
"Joseph" Replied the old man.
"Occupation?"
"Carpenter"
Jesus looked interested. "Any children?" He asked.
"Only one, but he was taken from me while he was very young"
Jesus looked at the man, stunned. "Father?" he asked.
"Pinocchio?"
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
God's Vacation
In heaven, the angels asked god where He would spend his next holiday.
God said: At least not on Earth. Last time I went there, I left a girl pregnant and those people haven't stopped talking about it since!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
We Are The World - Japanese Style
Funny parody of We Are The World--but performed by Japanese look-a-likes!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Boys Health
A funny video that talks about masturbation and other sex topics in a faux documentary style.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
You Know You're Old When...
- Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work anyway.
- The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
- You feel like you really hung one one the night before, and you were in bed asleep by eight.
- You get winded playing chess.
- Your children begin to look middle-aged.
- You join a health club and don't go.
- You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
- Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
- You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
- You look forward to a dull evening.
- Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 years ago today!"
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
- You're 17 around the neck and 42 around the waist.
- You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
- Dialing long distance wears you out.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
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